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The Cast

Darren Portrait
Darren MacElroy

Darren disapproves of people’s shenanigans, and is not afraid to call them out on it. Is he always right? Probably not; and he makes a few enemies along the way. Sometimes too smart and sarcastic for his own good, though underneath all that, he’s just a good guy who likes a girl and is too much of a talker rather than a doer to do anything about it.

Stan Portrait
Stanislav “Stan” Zolotov

Stan moved a couple of years ago from the cold barren wastes of wintry Siberia, or possibly the smoggy barren wastes of the Moscow suburbs. He keeps the details short but the anecdotes plentiful, and every day provides some kind of struggle to fit in. With a seemingly endless flow of cash, and mysterious periodic disappearances, perhaps he took more skeletons in the closet from the motherland than he’s willing to admit.

Nikki Portrait
Nikki Statz

Nikki’s quiet but competitive, and also smart, caring and ambitious. But don’t let the pleasant smile fool you; she can put anyone in their place as long at they deserve it. Despite having hung out mostly with boys since she started school, she seems to be completely oblivious to the crush Darren has been harbouring for her for many years.

Niles Portrait
Niles Porter

Niles may not be the brightest light bulb on the Christmas tree, but that doesn’t mean he worries much about it. Sometimes it might be better not to pay too much attention to watch he says – it’s for your own good.

Mason Portrait
Mason Hancock

Pickling in his own arrogance, Mason’s got as much regard for his fellow people as he does for ants. A self-professed Machiavellian, he will stop at nothing to be the best and to make sure everyone knows about it.

Jack Portrait
Jack Zhu

He doesn’t say what he means or mean what he says, because Jack’s tongue is a little faster than his brain. He also believes that he’s super smooth with the ladies, but his greatest success is only that he doesn’t get slapped as often as he should be.

Cassandra Portrait
Cassandra Fierra

Being the hottest girl in school comes with its perks, Cass will admit. But sometimes she’s forced to remind people there’s more to her than a pretty face. Despite her looks, and perhaps because of her sharp tongue, she’s had trouble making friends … until now.

Cindy Portrait
Cindy Belka

“If you give her coffee, the universe may implode.” Cindy doesn’t need caffeine to be in a hundred places at once, seemingly doing a thousand different things.

Smith Portrait
Gordon Smith

Mr. Smith is one nasty son of a bitch. Probably a veteran of some war that never actually happened, he would like nothing more than to see each of his students obliterated in a natural disaster.